The In Between

In life I have found that there are very low valleys and very high mountains, and then there's the in between. So much of our existence is spent on the middle ground--in transition. If you've ever experienced a dark valley, I'm sure you would agree that it is a welcome relief to reach the middle ground. And perhaps when you were in the valley, God gave you a glimpse of a mountain top view, which resulted in propelling you upward in the first place, with raised hopes and renewed faith. Undoubtedly though, you have discovered as I have, that the middle ground, the in between, has it's own share of difficulties.

That is where I am in life right now--the transition, the journey, the plodding along. It can be absolutely exhausting, confusing, and discouraging. Snapshots from the top of the mountain are quickly fading from my memory and I'm filled with questions as to if there even is a view to keep heading towards. My mind begins to conclude, "Maybe this is as good as it's gonna get, at least here on earth. Maybe I'll never be able to say that I love my job. Maybe I'll never experience an incredible marriage or a love story that gives me chills and takes my breath away. Maybe God's promises about plans beyond my highest hopes and greatest imaginings, only pertain to my future in heaven. And maybe I should be ok with that--after all, at least I have a job now that pays the bills. At least I am surrounded with friends and family who love me, who I can count on, and who bring me joy. At least I'm not in the deep, dark valley anymore!

Perhaps you are in the "in between" too. Perhaps God placed dreams in your mind and hopes in your heart somewhere at one time in a valley. Perhaps they have faded. Perhaps questions prick into your skin, into your soul, like relentless mosquitos. You wonder, "Did I get off track somewhere? Did I misunderstand? Am I chasing rainbows?"

We doctor our own wounds and try to protect ourselves by taking on an indifference towards dreams. Our attitude becomes, "If it happens I'll be surprised, but I don't want to invest a lot of hope because disappointment stings." We conclude, "Maybe I should just be happy with the way things are. Maybe I should settle for good and quit thinking about great."

I've been trying to take on this approach lately. It's definitely easier not to hope or dream. It's definitely easier to be guarded and cynical. But it's not working very well for me. The Author of dreams, the Founder of hope, won't quit tugging on my heart strings! Like annoying pop-ups that surface on your computer that you don't even know how you triggered, He keeps flashing messages like "Don't give up yet" and "Wait and see," in my face. I fight them at first--trying to close each pop-up window, but He is relentless and persistent. And I feel my walls begin to crumble when He says "In the grand scheme of eternity, your life here on earth is only like the blink of childhood. But like any loving parent, I want your childhood to be fabulous! I want to make your face light up, see you experience new things, hear your laughter, and fill each of your days with fun, beautiful, wonderful memories! I don't want your childhood to just be good--I want it to be great!! Dream again. Please, please dream again!"

So I lift my gaze towards the mountain peak once more. The trail ahead looks long, steep and hard. But my Father and Best Friend tells me that I won't regret following when I see the view. He also tells me that He will be with me each step of the way, He will carry me when I need Him most, and that when I lose heart He will make sure that there are patches of wildflowers, waterfalls, or surprising creatures for me to see, to keep me pressing forward.

My faith still isn't strong. I am still cynical. I am still guarded. Opening myself up to dream and hope again is like trying to move and stretch a contractured muscle. But I'm inviting God to be my GPS and I'm selecting His dreams as my destination. I'm praying for Him to heighten my senses and perceptions to hear each turn He's telling me to take. I'm praying for Him to open my eyes to beauty we are passing along the way--things He is doing, ways He is working. And I choose to trust that if I get off track, just like with a GPS, I will hear the words "Recalculating route." For I have a Heavenly Father who is all powerful, who loves me incomparably and unfathomably, and who will spare no means to make sure I experience the dreams He has in store for me! I get chills as I reflect on His words once again, "I don't want your childhood to just be good--I want it to be great!!"

Wherever you are in your journey, His heart, His words, are the same for you! May He lift your head once again. May He comfort you and overwhelm you with His love. May He lead you towards mountain top views that leave you amazed, breathless and without words! And as His dreams come true for you and I, may we share them with each other--like wonderful home movies that encourage and provide evidence of the greatness He's promised!


"If we are faithless, He remains faithful." II Timothy 2:13