A Hand Full of Aces!

I’m not very good at card games. Risk taking, masking my emotions with a poker face–these aren’t really skills I excel in. So I like card games in which you choose partners! Having the right partner can make all of the difference! It can give me the courage to stay in the game and enable me to actually enjoy myself, versus stressing that I’ll fail each time and embarrass myself.

Lately, in my life, I’ve been dealt a pretty tough hand of cards. Almost every aspect of my life is up in the air right now and I don’t have a clue how things are going to turn out. I vacillate between many emotions–from fear, to sadness, to disappointment, to anger, to denial, to feeling utterly exhausted/depleted and like I can’t go on. Confusion has been bombarding me from every direction, leaving me bracing myself for the worst. Hope seems a mirage–vaguely there in the distance, but every time I think it’s within my grasp, it vanishes.

I reached a breaking point a couple of weeks ago. I crumpled into the arms of a close friend, sobbing profusely and ready to fold my cards altogether. With no courage to go on and absolute uncertainty of what to do, I just wanted to crawl into bed, go to sleep, and not wake up until something turned for the better. Yet “better” seemed to me like a card highly unlikely to show up in my hand for a very long time. My thought process was essentially, “I’m already lying here broken and beaten on the ground–Go ahead Disappointment, kick me a couple more times. Go ahead Heartache, swing at me again. What’s another blow? Maybe absolutely everything will fall apart. Oh well! I’m on my way to becoming numb!”

The next morning, God tugged on my heart with the most beautiful parallel! In essence He told me, “Lindsey, I’ve chosen you as My playing partner. Don’t fold! I’ve got a hand full of aces and face cards (or in a game of Rook, I have all the “trump” cards)! So go ahead, keep laying down your cards, because I’m playing right behind you. Don’t be afraid! I’ve got your back! It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel skilled or if there’s nothing good in your hand. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! I AM YOUR PARTNER! IT MAY BE A LONG GAME, BUT THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR US!”

This revelation, this realization, brought me to tears! Wow! When I feel like I’m bringing nothing to the table, the King of the Universe has chosen me as His partner! No one loves me more than Him, so somehow, some way, I know that everything is going to work out. Point cards still aren’t really showing up in my hand. I still don’t have a clue what’s around the corner or how things are going to unfold. But that’s ok, because I’ve been chosen by the Best Playing Partner there is!

So slowly, I’m starting to lay down my cards again. And though it is a process, I’m feeling less and less stressed and afraid of embarrassment/failure, and am beginning to approach a point of enjoyment as we play. I’m still cautious. A part of me still expects hands to get taken. But there is also a new view emerging for me and it is this: Even if more hands get taken again along the way and I’m disappointed, I’m going to trust that my Partner knows best. Perhaps He sees hands I’m better off without. He also knows what hands are essential–and I look forward to watching Him play high on those rounds! Calculation and strategy are His forte and He loves sweeping in when the chips are down, with the element of delicious surprise!! Yes, I know when I look back later I’ll see that He took the hands that counted! And I’m eager to cheer when He comes through, yelling out “That’s My Jesus! That’s My Partner and Best Friend! He’s solid! He’s wise beyond compare! He can be counted on!! When He steps to the table, no one is a match for Him!”

Maybe life has dealt you an awful hand of cards. Maybe you feel like folding too. God’s words to my heart are the same for you! He wants and has chosen you as His playing partner, and it doesn’t matter how skilled you are (actually the less wisdom or skill we bring to the table, the more opportunity it allows Him to come through, without us getting in the way by taking the wrong hands and throwing points out). So step forward and don’t be afraid! He’s got your back! Watch Him take the hands that count! Stay in the game long enough to see that His strategy is flawless! Hear Him say to your heart, “WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! I AM YOUR PARTNER! WHEN YOU ARE WITH ME, NOTHING AND NO ONE CAN RIVAL US!”


Claim His promise in Isaiah 41:10:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (NIV)